Posts Tagged With: lesbians

Some controversial thoughts on male homosexuality

Some thoughts on the issue, in no particular order.




I’m not quite sure how it happened, the current opposition to gays and homosexuality that many men feel.  Why do they hate gays so much?  What caused this all?  When?  There are a few theories I have about why men have hated gays, supported gays, hated lesbians, and why they sometimes hate one more than another:
1. They seemed to hate lesbians more than gays a few hundred years ago, during the early witch hunt eras, like when the prospect of a woman resisting marriage to a man was very dangerous to them, and there was no sexual liberation that allowed them to fuck and chuck any woman.
2. They seemed to somewhat ignore or try to block out the knowledge of gays or lesbians during the Victorian Era, since sex in general was immoral, and so was sexual deviance.  Gays were hated when discussed, but lesbians were invisible since women didn’t have sexual desires, they said.  Perhaps this was…better?…for the lesbians?  I don’t know.
3. Today being gay is severely punished, while being lesbian is called evil but is a little more ignored, or just considered butch, or lesbians get eyerolls or such.  This isn’t because these men hate women less, it’s because they are more focused on the horrifying prospect that men are being dominated by other men, and that they are being turned into women.  So, it is actually because they hate women so much they hate gays.   They still hate Lesbians, it’s just that the topic doesn’t always come up as much.



I’ve noticed that a lot of the people opposed to homosexuality are women, especially religious women.  I wondered why this was, since women are oppressed as well as gays and since the oppression was along similar lines- sex and gender.  Then I started to feel like it might have something to do with this whole nervousness about sex and the body, especially the male body (since anti-homosexuality campaigns usually refer to male homosexuals).  Maybe women were offended by male bodies and male sexuality, so male homosexuality made them afraid.  Therefore they became conservative on the matter.


Then I figured that some instances of homosexuality on the part of men might be fueled by female hatred.  Homosexuals in the Victorian Era, like Oscar Wilde, often disliked women, eve though the popular stereotype is of homosexuals being effeminate.  A key reason may have been because they attracted to their own sex precisely because they disliked the other, much like the rugged cowboy, sick and tired of silly women, bonded in a sexual way with his own rugged brothers.

For example, the 2005 film Brokeback Mountain documents the fictional life of two cowboys who struggle with their homosexual attraction to each other, and the men seem to somewhat see the wives and children as a bit of a burden, annoying and frustrating their desires. These two men long to get away from their wives and kids and go out in the mountains and have an all-male homosexual relationship.




When the masculinity supporting homosexuals use phrases like “you’re homophobic”, they really mean to mock people’s fear- their fear of sex and heterosexuals’ fear of differing sexualities.  It’s just like what men do to women who are afraid to have sex- they like to mock the “effeminate” fear of sex.

For these types of homosexual men, being against homophobia is not about tolerance and justice; it’s about the unacceptability of having a fear of sex, the unacceptability of having a fear of maleness and the male body, or fear of frightening and unknown sexual behavior.  It’s also about, not tolerance for justice’s sake, but about tolerance in the sense that they want to be able to perform any kinds of sexual activities they want and with any kind of partner.

Objectively, there’s nothing wrong with homosexuality, either male or female.  But to a woman who is frightened enough already about the whole topic of sex, frightened because of the behavior of men…do you think she’s going to react with logic and acceptance and tolerance, and without any fear when you introduce a whole foreign concept of sexuality and behavior to her, especially a totally male-centric one as male homosexuality?

Many women are opposed to both homosexuality and to lesbianism in theory, but are able to harbor and accept attractions to other women.  This may be because they see homosexuality and other forms of sexuality which include one or more male partners to be threatening.  It may also be because since the word “homosexuality” implies an attraction based upon physical body parts- i.e., it is an attraction towards a person’s physical, sexual body parts- and women see it as unemotional and are put off by the purely physical aspect of it.  They are put off by the idea that one’s sexual attractions should be determined by the body parts of the partner.  That’s what the average man is attracted by, they think.  Someone’s body parts.

Also, because they live in a male-run society, women define “sex” solely as a physical thing…but, being women (who have to bear the painful role in sexual activity) they think they don’t like sex.  Since any woman-woman relationships are going to include more love, and have less sex (or at least tie sex in with romantic love), they fail to recognize the relationship as a sexual one, and hence, a homosexual one, and therefore do not consider themselves lesbians.  After all, they figure, they can’t be homosexual if they aren’t having sex.

To sum it up, many women consider the subject of homosexuality frightening because it seems sexually exotic (and therefore dangerous), and because they believe that male homosexuality is too full of masculinity (two men) to be non-threatening.


I’m wondering if this whole idea that most gays are effeminate is not an attempt to trick women into supporting the typical homosexual- the uber male who loves other males because they are male.  “It’s okay, we’re all into shopping and clothes and scented candles and puppies and purple!”  But are most homosexual not like that?  Do the masculine homosexuals push around the feminine ones? It seems so.




Here’s what a lot of anti-gay women, or women who think they’re anti-gay, are thinking about the gay rights movement:

you guys have been allowed to fuck each other for god knows how long, in every society, even if it’s just in dark corners or secret clubs.  We have been begging to have the kind of sex we want without getting murdered as witches or mutilated by doctors to cure our lesbianism.  Not to mention the other abuses we suffer from being forced to accept your heterosexuality into our lives.  And now you have the nerve to come out and complain that you aren’t exactly being treated like how human beings are supposed to be treated, that you aren’t getting your assed pleasured as many times as you want, that your behavior is subject to a few penalties which you have to power to at least protest properly, while we don’t?

The gay issue is only an issue because it mainly involves men (lesbians are invisible to them) and because it involves regulations against sexual behavior.  If only lesbians existed in the universe, you can bet gay rights would never have become an issue at all.




The gay marriage and gay sex question, for men, is about getting to do whatever they want; for women, it’s about being fair to others.  So you can see who has the better handle on what social justice means.


I was reading an article on the Radical Hub site and they were talking about male homosexuality and how taboo it is, and one commenter was like, “Where is male homosexuality taboo?  Men’s institutions are cemented by it, the priesthood, the public school, the army and navy, anywhere men gather in groups without women being present.  The taboo is on admitting it to women, and that, depending on the degree of patriarchy present in any given society, can be punishable by death.  Because it is breaking the code of the boys club, which corrals women’s bodies by controlling their minds.  Women must religiously follow heterosexual edicts, men are exempt.”


Ask any good history student, and they’ll tell you that men have been free to fuck each other all throughout history, with a few bans occurring on and off, often from women or from “effeminate” areas in the Church and from other moral-peddlers in society.

In Ancient Greece they were allowed- no, encouraged– to do it.

Ancient Rome, I believe, frowned on it a bit more but didn’t do much about it.

Alexander the Great was gay.

The Spartans were often gay.

Roman emperors had perverse sex with little boys.  (Google “Tiberius and his minnows”)

Sodom and Gomorrah in the ancient Middle East.

Jewish mohels who suck baby boys’ newly circumcised penises.

The Turkish bath sort of places and nude swim areas the classical era men attended to escape women.

The earliest Popes, who compared boys’ naked bottoms to the texture of a peach, and later Popes who instituted orgies in their halls.

Asian sexual practices in India and China and Japan with two young males or one adult male and one younger one.

Various European kings and princes and politicians, sometimes (or often) soldiers.

Masons and other “secret societies”- yeah, we know your secret!- during the American Revolution and the European Enlightenment and other eras.

Gay princes and composers and oddball writers in the 19th Century, like Oscar Wilde.

Cowboys in the old American West, and of course, Brokeback Mountain.

Actors, singers, and other artists who dabble in gay orgies or fuckfests both on and off the screen/stage/paper.

Modern monarchs like Prince Charles, who are caught engaging in homosexual activity at various times, a counterpart to their 19th Century and older European counterparts.

Locker rooms, restrooms, bathroom troughs, and steam rooms, even public street urinals in modern Europe in which men often show off to each other.

Muslim training schools and madrassas where men learn how to praise Allah and bone little boys.


What these men oppose when they’re opposing restrictions against homosexuality is not the unfairness of it all, or the pain and rejection that many homosexual men (mostly the effeminate variety) suffer at the hands of patriarchal men. They oppose, instead, not being able to do whatever they want to do, especially sexually.  They oppose not being allowed to have sex with other men, and hypocritically, they cry out against the “tyranny” of the Church and Victorian Era and other establishments- which they instituted themselves!- and blame the rare good aspects of the Church and religion and morality and all that, for acting “feminine” and not allowing them to have sex or revel in their masculinity. (The good aspects being “don’t hurt the innocent”, “everything in moderation”, “don’t be sexually irresponsible”, “look out for the little guy”, etc).


The fact that they aren’t able to open a simple history book and look at how unrestricted male homosexual sex has been in the past attests to their refusal to be objective and logical, and not to mention their uneducated demeanor whenever they approach any and all issues.   It also proves the casualness with which they blame people who are totally innocent in regards to restricting their disgusting behavior (nagging women, disgusted churchgoers, whiny priests, etc).


You think women cared if they went off and fucked other men?  They were probably happy to have them out of their hands, like Marie Barone is happy to see Frank go to the lodge in Everybody Loves Raymond.  Thank God for the mother fucking lodge!


And lots of the authorities that opposed homosexuality, even if they had stereotypically feminine reasons for doing so, like “morality”, or “safety”, they were established by males, and it was males who banned the behavior.


This aspect of history, the aspect of men screaming about how they aren’t allowed to be homosexual, it reads much more like men trying to regulate other men’s behavior, or even their own behavior……and then getting angry at women who chime in on the wrong side.  If you support homosexual men, you’re a witch.  If you oppose it, you’re a bitch.  Or an old crazy broad.  If you think about it, the issue of males being allowed to be homosexual is almost exclusively an issue that concerns them.  Men regulating other men and punishing them if they step out of line.


The only time women are involved is when they are used as cannon fodder for the anti-homosexual side to fight the opposition, or vice versa.  And of course, for when one side wants to attack the others’ cannon fodder (women), because heaven knows they would rather attack a woman whom their opponent has brainwashed to oppose them than attack another man, even one with violently different opinions. So I guess on a certain level, men love each other so much that most of them are homosexuals.  Some are just repressed and that’s what makes the differences of political opinion.



If you’re an effeminate man, and you love another man and sexually attract to him for proper reasons, then you’re a pussy.  If you’re a woman, then you’re a cunt.  You can’t win.  It sucks.  Welcome to history class.

(I am ¾ done with a bachelors in history so I can kinda say that).

Categories: Articles In English, History and Political, Homosexuality/LGBT, Lesbianism, Patriarchy, Radical Feminism, Sex, Sexual Liberation | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Women Who Love Other Women

Another pamphlet designed for distribution to school children.


                                         Women Who Love Other Women
Why must women fall in love with men? Most men are selfish, sexist, and abusive. Good men are hard to find. Maybe we should fall in love with women. Women won’t hate you for being a woman; women are much less likely to verbally and sexually abuse you; women won’t impregnate you against your will. Maybe you have attractions to female friends or celebrities but you never realized you could love another woman. Society tries to make women fall in love with men because men want to use women for sex. Society also wants to keep women apart from each other so women can’t break or escape from male control. So why don’t we try something new?

Myths, facts, and questions:

Lesbians are ugly and masculine.
Not all lesbians are masculine. Many are very “feminine” (what our society calls “feminine”). Some lesbian relationships consist of feminine partners, some consist of masculine partners, and some couples have a mannish partner and a feminine partner. Everyone is different.

Lesbians are always angry because they don’t know how wonderful it is to have sex with men.
A lesbian is a woman who is attracted to women, not attracted to men. Having sex with men would not be wonderful for her. Not all lesbians are angry. Some are very happy. They are all individuals like everyone else. The small amount of lesbian and gay people who are often angry are angry because they are abused by prejudiced heterosexual people.

Accepting lesbians into society will drastically change normal relationship structures.
Yes. That’s our intention. We want change. The world is horrible right now. Women are the only demographic group in the world who willingly live with the group who oppresses them- men. Most men in the world are dangerous and selfish. Society forces woman to marry a man and live apart from her family and other women. This does great harm to women. The marriage structure (one man, one woman, living alone in a house) makes it easier for husbands to abuse women and children without women’s families stopping them. For women in poor countries, lesbianism is freedom. Heterosexuality means being forced into sexual slavery to a husband and doing exhausting house or field work. Instead of living with men, women should live in all-female groups with some good men (the minority of men). Most men should live on the outside of this society. This is how elephants and lions live, so it is not unnatural. The good men should be the fathers and the large amout of bad men (rapists, serial killers, woman-abusers, misogynists) will go extinct. Monogamy will no longer be necessary, but people will be free to choose it. Since evil men will be extinct, men will not use women for sex. They will only have sex with someone because of love. Our current one-man/one-woman marriage policy is evil. There are very few good men, and women are not able to share them- women have to accept horrible or abusive men.

How will people have children?
Women will have sex with men to get children, and sometimes for pleasure, but lesbianism will be more common than it is today. Women, especially mothers, should be the focus of society, and men/other women should help them. Children should be taught by the entire community, not inside a family, in which the mother has to do all the work. Women will not have to associate with a man only because he is the father of her child. When women marry men and live inside a heterosexual family, they work inside the home and don’t get paid, but men get paid to work outside the home. Women should not have to be in a relationship with a man just because he is th father of her child. Women should have relationships with other women and raise children together, and heterosexuality will be less common. Men who enjoy women’s sexual organs instead of their personality will not be allowed to have sex with women.

Lesbianism and separating women from men is a very new and different idea.
This is not true. Thousands of years ago, before men began hating women, and before they invented patriarchy, women were the leaders of society. Society loved and respected men, but men were not superior to women and men were not at the center of society.

Lesbians must use dildos or other penis-shaped objects to have sex.
Not all lesbians enjoy penetration and penis shaped objects. The assumtion that all lesbians need penises or penis-shaped objects to be satisfied is offensive. Not all women need men to be happy. Some lesbians don’t like to be penetrated. It’s a personal preference. “Sex” doesn’t necessarily mean putting a penis in a vagina. Sex can also include oral sex, touching the clitoris, or stimulating the nipples. A person does not need to penetrate or be penetrated to say they have had sex. It is also offensive to suggest women have no external genitalia. Women have clitorises, labia, and a pubic mound, and sometimes they can be used for penetration, if the partners enjoy penetration. It is not true that all men have big penises and that all women have small clitorises/labia. Not all penises are bigger than women’s clitorises and labia. Some penises are big, and some are small. Some clitorises and labia are big, some are small. Size has nothing to do with male or female. Male and female were created for reproduction, and size has nothing to do with sperm and eggs.

Should I become a lesbian?
You can do whatever you want. It is good to open up your options. It is difficult for most people to change their sexuality, but it can be worth the difficulty, since most men are not suitable for a romantic relationship. If you cannot become a lesbian, you do not need to force yourself. If you get in a relationship with a man, make sure he is gentle and good.

Am I a lesbian? 
Perhaps. You may have attractions to female friends, classmates, people you work with, actresses, or even cartoon characters. You might be completely uninterested in men or dislike them.

What are the consequences of becoming a lesbian or telling people I’m one?
It depends on your society’s level amount of tolerance for homosexuality. Often, in the Western hemisphere, you will be respected. Unfortunately, lesbians are treated poorly by some people, especially conservative religious people, and people who support patriarchy. If you think you will be harmed, keep your feelings to yourself, but don’t try to change who you are, because you will end up miserable. Try to find internet groups or organizations who will accept you.

Where can I get help if I decide to come out as a lesbian or become one?
The USA national organization for adult homosexuals is: 1-888-843-4564, and the youth group is 1-800-246-7743. Both numbers cost no money to dial. If you don’t want your parents or siblings to know you called the organization, you can use your cell phone or email them on the computer.

Are societies happier if they accept lesbians and if they change marriage structures that are unjust?
Yes. In a lesbian relationship, there is no male influence, therefore patriarchy is weakened by every lesbian relationship. Men who are evil will have no opportunity to teach their sons to be evil. There are 7 billion people in the world and it is overcrowded. There are not enough recources for everyone. Lesbians are more likely to adopt children than to give birth. The other option for women is to marry men and have their wombs regulated like farm animals’ wombs. (Societies never regulate men’s reproductive organs).

Is it impossible to change your sexuality?
For some people it is impossible. For others, it is not. Most people cannot lose a sexual attraction once they have it, but most people can acquire an additional attraction if they try. It is harder to ignore an attraction you already have than to acquire a new one. Sometimes heterosexual men tell women heterosexuality is natural and that it is impossible to change because they want to trick lesbians into having sex with them. “It’s natural. Come into my bed!”

Is sexuality caused by genetics or DNA or nature or some similar thing?
No. Attractions are abstract things and genetics is a physical thing. Physical things cannot cause abstract things. Sexual urges might be caused by physical processes, but who you are attracted to is caused by what is inside in your mind. Sometimes, the mind cannot be changed. Sometimes, it can.

Why does society notice lesbians less than it notices gay men?
Most societies don’t respect women and don’t want to believe they enjoy sex as much as men enjoy sex. They tell everybody that lesbians are unnatural. Another reason may be that men think other men- even gay men- are more important than women and since men control most of the media and news, they pay more attention to gays than lesbians.

Why do most men hate lesbians?
If a woman only has sex with other women, men lose the opportunity to use her for sex. Some men accuse lesbians of hating men because the lesbians don’t have sex with men. This is immature; they are saying, “You hate me because you won’t give me what I want!!” They also hate lesbians because lesbians are not being controlled by a husband or male partner.

Why do most men hate homosexual men?
Homophobic men are afraid that if they have sex with men, they will be harmed in the same manner they harm women. Maybe they deserve it!

What is “corrective rape”?
“Corrective rape” is when a man or a group of men rape and hurt a woman to try to force her to be heterosexual, or to punish her for being a lesbian. Corrective rape occurs very often in Africa, and girls are often gang raped or forced to marry adult men. These men rape them inside the marriage. It also happens in America. A lesbian who enters a bar or other public places might be followed and “corrected” by males. In the entire world, many lesbians are beaten, tortured, raped, have acid thrown in their faces, disowned, killed, or forced to marry men. However, in America and Europe there are many safe communities and organizations that do not hate lesbians and women.

What should I do if someone tries to punish me for being a lesbian?
Call one of the phone numbers and if you think someone will commit violence against you, contact a women’s shelter in a nearby city and get a lawyer. Make sure the lawyer doesn’t hate lesbians and women. If you cannot do this, tell a good teacher what happens in your home. Nobody should be allowed to try to change your sexuality or abuse you. If someone tries to rape you, report him immediately and get a lawyer who tries to help women and lesbians.

Categories: Articles In English, Lesbianism, Radical Feminism, Separatism, Sex | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why Do We Keep Having PIV?

An article I wrote with the intention of handing out printed copies to schoolchildren ages 10-18.

    Why Do We Keep Having PIV??
PIV (penis in vagina) intercourse is considered to be the definition of “normal” sex by doctors, psychologists, TV, and most men. But should putting the penis in the vagina be considered the only way to have sex, or even a normal way?
Let’s examine some myths:

*Having PIV is the only way to get pregnant. Not true. Sperm can swim up the vagina from the outside. Pregnancy is often caused this way.

*PIV is the most enjoyable type of sex. This is bullshit. It is enjoyable for most men, not most women. Everyone’s different, but most women like having their clitoris stimulated instead. The vagina has few nerves inside, so the pleasure a woman feels during PIV usually comes from stimulating the clitoris, too. Why not stimulate the clitoris with the penis? Both partners get pleasure. Most women do not enjoy PIV as much as clitoral stimulation; some hate PIV. Saying “PIV is pleasurable” is very opinionated, like saying “ice cream tastes good”, or “red is the best color”.

*The vagina is a hole, it’s meant to be penetrated. Nostrils and ears are holes. Should they be penetrated as well? How about the anus? Belly button? Throat? Urethra? Some holes are not meant to be penetrated. Sadly, many men view a woman as a hole-filled object to stick things into.

*The vagina can spit out babies, so it can take objects inside it as well.  No.  Just because a hole on the body can spit an object out doesn’t mean it is meant to take objects inside of it. You can poop; does that mean anal sex is the only normal or enjoyable type of sex? You can spit; does that mean deep throating is enjoyable? What about using an open wound? That’s a hole, too. Some holes on the body are not meant to be filled with objects.

*PIV is the most common form of sex in movies, books, history, TV, and our society, so it’s the most normal one.  Just because something is common or has always existed in history doesn’t make it good or normal.  Being racist was common a few hundred years ago. Does that make being racist right or normal? Men are in charge of most of the media, including the movie, book, and music industries. Their opinions are more represented. Men usually enjoy PIV much more than women, who sometimes hate it. PIV is portrayed as the main way to have sex in books and movies because men enjoy it. Women’s enjoyment is either ignored, or movies show a higher percentage of women liking PIV than do in real life.

*Most women have PIV, and they don’t complain, so they must enjoy it.  How do you know you really enjoy something if society and the media- movies, books, and TV- are constantly trying to make you like it? Some women fool themselves into thinking they like PIV because friends, the TV, doctors, psychologists, and of course, husbands, make them think there’s something wrong with them physically or psychologically if they don’t. Does this mean women like PIV? If they need to drastically change their attitude or body to like it, they obviously don’t really like it!

*The penis is shaped like a long stick because it’s meant to go inside the vagina.  The fist is shaped like a long stick. Is the fist meant to go down the throat? Is the penis supposed to go up the anus? The fist up the vagina? Not all penises are big and long. Some barely poke out at all. Some are smaller than the average labia and clitoris (there are many big labia and clitorises, like there are small penises). There are different sizes and shapes among both male and female genitals. The idea that penises need to be big is socially constructed. Boys who have penises society considers too small are taken to the doctor to help it grow. Women with big clitorises and labia might get surgery to “fix” the “problem”. Girls are told to sit with their legs together, which causes the genitals to be squeezed smaller. Boys are told to touch and pay attention to their penises, and this attention and physical contact helps them grow more than they would otherwise. Society considers big penises and small clitorises/tight vaginas ideal, but this spells out certain disaster for boys and girls who practice PIV- bigness crossed with tightness leads to pain for the female!

*If you don’t like PIV, you’re prude, repressed, or anti-sex.  PIV is not the only way to have sex, and should not even be considered the normal sexual act, so you are not anti-sex if you don’t like it. You may like other activities, like having your clitoris kissed or stroked, or touched with the penis, or rubbing up against your partner. Not liking sex AT ALL isn’t a bad thing, either. Not everyone likes sex just as not everyone likes chocolate, sushi, classical music. Calling women who don’t like PIV (or other sex acts) prude is a tactic men use to trick you into sex or PIV.

What do I do if my boyfriend/husband wants to have PIV and I don’t want to? What if he pressures me into having it?

Just Say No! If you don’t want to do something, you don’t have to do it, or feel bad about refusing to do it. If he pressures you into it, he is being a pest and needs to be told to stop. If he accuses you of not loving him or else you’d give him PIV, he’s wrong. Not wanting to do things you aren’t comfortable with doesn’t mean you don’t love him. If he loved you, he wouldn’t try to guilt you into having PIV (or any other type of sex).

     My husband/boyfriend/partner and I started having PIV and I asked him to stop and he didn’t. Is this wrong?

If he kept going once you told him to stop, it’s rape, pure and simple. “Wait, I’m almost finished” is not acceptable. If you are being hurt now, or want to stop now, he needs to stop now. If he waits a bit until he’s “finished” once you’ve said to stop, it means he thinks his enjoyment is more important than your safety. That’s rape. You need to send him to a counselor, report him, or end the relationship. It’s that serious.
Some men say once they start they can’t stop because it’s a “natural urge”. If that’s true, how come when parents are in bed and their child walks in, they always stop? Or when they are in bed and the phone rings? Or if a stranger enters the house? Men always stop then. If a child entering the room, a phone ringing, or a stranger breaking in are enough to get him to stop this “natural urge”, you asking to stop should be just as important.
Can I still have PIV if I want to?
Of course! It’s a free country. Not all women hate PIV; some don’t mind it; some even enjoy it. Most women who enjoy it enjoy clitoris stimulation more. But everyone’s an individual and we all get pleasure in different ways. Some people get an orgasm from being kissed on the ear; others get one from being penetrated; some like being cut with objects. That’s their right, and they should feel free to do what they enjoy.
Pleasure isn’t the only important thing: we need to know PIV carries risks other sexual practices are less likely to. PIV is more likely to cause pregnancy than other acts, like oral sex. It can lead to higher rates of cervical cancer or disease in women, since they are the ones receiving fluids.
You should certainly feel free to have PIV if you want. It’s your right to choose from a variety of sexual acts. The important thing is that you understand the risks some acts carry, just as you should understand the risks of riding a bike or driving a car or drinking alcohol.
Why do I feel weird for not liking PIV?
You may feel weird because society tells you it’s normal to enjoy it. Movies and songs only use the word “sex” to refer to PIV, as if clitoral stimulation or other acts don’t count as “real” sex. Sex practices women like are called “foreplay”, as if they aren’t as important.
Many women use tons of lubricant or even take medicine to make PIV enjoyable or less painful (some girls actually get pain from PIV). If women get pain from PIV they might be labeled “too tight” and urged to visit doctors so they can get “fixed”. They get diagnosed with made-up conditions like “vaginismus”, even though women’s vaginas may not be designed to be penetrated. Psychologists ask women who hate PIV if they were sexually abused as children or have diseases making PIV difficult. It’s not about helping women be safe and happy; it’s about taking a “broken” woman who doesn’t enjoy PIV and “fixing” her for her husband or boyfriend.
Doctors assume PIV is normal and anyone who can’t do it or doesn’t enjoy it needs to be fixed. This is proof of the bias in our society, a bias in favor of men and their enjoyment, and against women and their right not to be harmed.
What about his enjoyment?
What about it? You have no obligation to perform uncomfortable or painful acts to give someone else pleasure, especially sexual ones. He can stimulate his penis by rubbing against your clitoris or other places. (Since semen outside the vagina can cause pregnancy, use protection). Losing enjoyment doesn’t feel as bad as having pain, so it’s better he loses enjoyment than you be hurt. If PIV doesn’t hurt but isn’t enjoyable either, you still shouldn’t be pressured into doing it. In fact, even if you enjoy it you shouldn’t be obligated to do it. It is wrong for your boyfriend/husband to expect you to please him. You don’t use other people for pleasure. It’s wrong and evil.
But doesn’t PIV give him more pleasure than just rubbing?
So? You’re still not under obligation to please another person by doing something you don’t want to do. What if choking him gave him more pleasure than PIV? Are you obligated to choke him? What if choking him while he uses drugs give him even more pleasure than just choking him? Should you buy him drugs, too? What if kicking people gives him pleasure because he’s a sadist- should you let him kick you in the stomach? No.
If PIV is not enjoyable to a large number of women, why do so many lesbians use dildos or other types of fake penises?
Lots of lesbians do not use such things. Dildos and penis-shaped objects were invented because society likes to think women need males to be sexually happy. Many lesbians have discovered the magic of the clitoris instead. Some lesbians who buy dildos do it because they are fooled, like heterosexuals, into thinking penetration is the most pleasurable thing for a woman. Of course, some lesbians, like some heterosexuals, do like being penetrated. But it’s very rude for society to assume all of them like it, or to assume that a woman needs a man or a man-shaped object to be happy.
My partner didn’t pressure me into having PIV, I chose to myself. But I felt uncomfortable afterward. Why?
It may be because you didn’t really want to after all. Society can coerce you, like a sexual predator, into sexual acts. Society often acts like a rapist. It tells women they must have PIV, or else. Often, a girl thinks she’s choosing PIV, but it turns out she’s been pushed into it by society teaching her it’s normal, and it feels like she was raped. She was raped by society, if not her boyfriend.
If the PIV was painful, you may also be angry at the idea that men are capable of hurting women sexually, but not the other way around.  It feels like crap- like nature made you inferior because you are hurt-able and not him.  But suppose you slammed your clitoris and labia up against his testicles…wouldn’t that hurt him?  It’s not true, then, that women can’t hurt men sexually.  But society would never call such an act “normal sex” because the male would be getting injured. Yet they call PIV “normal sex”, even though it injures females. And since PIV is not necessary for pregnancy, the reproductive argument for calling PIV “normal” is a total joke too.

But isn’t PIV the natural way to have sex? Isn’t it instinctive or something?
No. Not all animals have PIV, and not all humans do. In societies or eras in which sex is not discussed, young men don’t even know how to have PIV- they have to be taught to put their penises in women’s vaginas. If it were a natural instinct why would they need to be taught to do it? Some men say it’s natural to fool women into thinking it’s something they’re supposed to do, or make excuses after they rape someone.
It feels weird not having PIV. It’s like we didn’t go “all the way” or something.
This feeling is due to cultural conditioning- society pushes you to think PIV is “real” sex. PIV is just one type of sex. If society considered anal sex “real” sex, or sex in which one partner chokes the other, or sex where the penis tore through the cervix into the uterus, you might have had similar feelings about those acts. You don’t need to have PIV to say you’ve “had sex.” If you enjoy PIV, go ahead and have it, but learn about the bad consequences, and make sure your desire to do it wasn’t influenced by other people or the media.  It’s good to add a variety of sexual acts to your pool of choices, as long as you make sure you are being true to your own heart and not doing anything you’re uncomfortable with.
Please share this pamphlet with other girls and women and don’t be afraid to discuss PIV with friends, if they don’t mind discussing such matters. More women need to hear these things, especially since many think they’re the only ones who don’t like PIV. Men have no right to use your body for sex- PIV or other acts- and you need to know how to refuse.
PIV carries dangers, including pregnancy, risk of cervical cancer, pain, tearing, dryness, soreness, and psychological feelings of being invaded (especially if the male is the active partner). You are free to have it, but you should always understand the risks first, that society often covers up.
Don’t let pressures from society, the media, and from boyfriends influence your decision, and make sure to think the choice to have PIV over.
You own your body, not others!

Categories: Articles In English, PIV, Radical Feminism, Sex | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

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